Well, I can plainly see its time to write a new blog post. Its been two weeks of fun and festivities but now I am starting to feel the pull of the real world and that crazy unexplainable feeling that comes with a new year. You know, the one were you feel an uncharacteristic urge to start everything new, put all failure behind you, and fix everything by setting goals.
It was a strange mixture of hope, dread, and adrenaline that got me out of bed at six this morning. I hope that this will be the time my life changes stick, I dread that in actuality I'll just fail, and I was in-cable of sleeping a minute longer. I wanted to find out which one it will be.
In the practical part of my mind, I know that will be be a little bit of both. I can live with that. I think giving myself this allowance-that I might not do everything perfect and I'm going to slip up-is what will help me to go back to the goals I've made and try again, even after all the hype of the new year has past. What is that saying? "Reach for the stars. That way, even if you miss, you still get the moon."
I feel like I got the moon last year. I didn't publish my novel, I didn't become the perfect house keeper, and I didn't handle every situation with calmness and clarity. But I finished my first draft, something I've never done before. I started a blog. I got two critique groups, took a very helpful class on household organization, and even if I still leave dishes in the sink, my feelings toward the mundane chores are evolving. I think that I actually don't dislike them as much as I used too. (I'm sure my husband would not agree with this statement, but since I get to give myself the grades on how last years goals went, that's not an issue.)
As far as my personal ability to handle situations, I think I might have made some small measure of progress. That is a lot harder to judge, but for sanity's sake, I'll give myself the benefit of the doubt and say I'm better this year than I was last.
The funny thing is, as clique as writing about goals is, reflecting on the things I actually did right last year makes me feel good, like I can do anything now. So even if every blog I follow does the same thing this week, it's worth it. In fact, finding a few good things about the old year could be the best way to start the new one.
Now I have to go. Since I am sharing my chair with my four year old and two rather large stuffed animals, I think it might be time for breakfast.
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